The Three Questions

EXERCISE: The Three Questions
Your goal is to stop using or acting out. Your desire to change is your motivation to stop your addictive behaviour. It is sometimes hard to see a difference between what you are doing and what you could do differently to achieve your goals. This exercise can help you bring these two perspectives into focus so you can clearly see any discrepancy between them.

Ask Yourself These Questions:
1. What do I want for my future?
2. What am I currently doing to achieve that?
3. How do I feel about what I’m currently doing?

An Example of Answers to These Questions:
1. What do I want for my future? To be a good partner, parent, employee.
2. What am I currently doing to achieve that? Nothing, because I’m drunk and stoned all the time.
3. How do I feel about what I’m currently doing? Guilty, ashamed, depressed, frustrated, stressed, trapped.

Now, Answer The Follow On Questions:
1. What could I do differently to achieve the future I want?
2. How would changing what I do or getting what I want make me feel?

Once you see the discrepancy between your feelings about what you’re currently doing and your feelings about changing your behaviour, you can use that difference as further motivation to stop using. As you start to feel better about being abstinent, you feel more empowered to achieve your goal in #1: Be a good partner, parent, and employee.

Download available as pdf: The Three Questions Work sheet